In the spring of 2025, the Roots & Wings: Intergenerational Formation Collaborative grant team conducted a literature review. As part of that literature review, the team identified five characteristics, or “hallmarks,” of intergenerational worship: intentionality, relationality, dignified reciprocity, flexibility, and empowerment.

In this “Hallmarks of Intergenerational Worship” series, I will explore each hallmark in turn with special attention to practical steps for increasing that characteristic in public worship.

Flexibility in the Context of Worship

In the context of intergenerational worship, flexibility is about making space for one another’s humanity. Scholars and practitioners emphasize flexibility in various ways: John Roberto describes a “welcoming environment of hospitality, trust, acceptance, emotional safety, and care” (“Lifelong Faith“). Joe Azzopardi and Kayle de Waal highlight “accommodation” as essential to flourishing intergenerational ministry (“The Generative Church“). Holly Allen Catterton and Jason Brian Santos use the same word, “accommodation,” to describe how intergenerational communities adjust to the needs of various generations (“Intergenerational Ministry–A Forty-year Perspective: 1980–2020“). Michelle Clifton-Soderstrom and David Bjorlin take a theological approach in their discussion of “making room for one another,” discussing how the Greek word for the three persons of the Trinity, “perichoresis,” includes the Greek word for “mak[ing] room” (“Incorporating Children In Worship“).

While some may experience flexibility in worship as too informal, it is more about a posture of grace than a posture of informality. Do we normalize the need of some worshippers to leave the sanctuary, care for their bodies, and then return? How do we respond to liturgical missteps (like wine spilling, a lector forgetting their turn, etc.)? How do we incorporate worshippers unable to sit still or be quiet for the full length of the service, recognizing that many people, from toddlers to neurodivergent or pregnant people, may need to vocalize or move around?

At its core, flexibility recognizes that a worshipping community is made up of bodies with different needs and offers grace. Flexibility does not need to mean that all behavior is acceptable; instead it offers clear, reasonable expectations and responds with patience rather than rigidity or annoyance.

An Expansive View of Reverence

In 2019, I did an independent study on intergenerational worship while completing my Master of Divinity at Virginia Theological Seminary. As part of that course, I visited a variety of congregations practicing intergenerational worship and looked for commonalities across contexts. While I wrote about six common characteristics in my final paper (and on Building Faith in “Vibrant Worship for All Ages“), I noticed a seventh commonality I was not sure how to interpret: In the contexts where intergenerational worship felt most vibrant, people were drinking coffee. Well, it could have been tea, but either way, they had mugs and tumblers. I asked one of my mentors, the Rev. Miranda Hassett, about this observation, and she led me to consider expanding my view of “reverence.”

For some, it is reverent to refrain from eating and drinking in a sanctuary—or at least during worship. For others, the ability to sip a warm drink and offer their child a snack makes church a place of true welcome, comfort, and belonging. As Miranda asked me many years ago, what if part of what people are seeking from the church—and specifically worship—is “safely to arrive at home,” as the hymn “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing” says (“The Hymnal 1982,” ‎#686)?

Like intergenerational worship, reverence is not “one size fits all.” We each have our own relationship to the divine and, therefore, our own relationship to reverence. As you think about flexibility in the context of worship, it might be helpful to reflect on your own view of reverence. If you went to church as a child, what did reverence mean to you as a child in worship? Has your view of reverence changed since childhood? What attitudes or behaviors feel most reverent to you? Most irreverent? What are the current (explicit or implicit) expectations about reverence in your own worship context? How might reverence and flexibility be balanced, or even complementary partners, in your community’s worship?

Practical Steps to Increase Flexibility

Every church context is unique, and there is not one “right” way to practice intergenerational worship. The list of ideas below is not prescriptive (or exhaustive), but meant to inspire your imagination for helping worshippers connect more deeply as fellow members of the body of Christ in a specific worshipping community.

• Communicate Flexibility to Liturgical Leaders: Church leaders can communicate flexibility when preparing lay leaders for liturgical roles. This might take place during a formal worship leader training or as part of the prayer with the altar party right before the opening procession. For example, when co-leading intergenerational worship, the Rev. Elizabeth Henry-McKeever would remind the altar party each week that “nothing, nothing, nothing, not even a liturgical misstep can separate you from the love of God.”
• Model Graceful Mistakes: Church leaders can model flexibility in the way they respond to their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. A calm, non-anxious presence and verbal reassurance go a long way. For example, if no one gets up to read the Psalm, the presider might say, “It looks like we are in need of someone to lead the Psalm this morning. Is anyone willing? Thank you, Wilma.” Or upon losing their place in the Eucharistic Prayer, “Just a moment, I’ve lost my place. Here it is.”
• Normalize Movement: From the need to use the restroom to a short attention span or back pain, there are a wide variety of reasons why someone might need to move their body or leave the sanctuary and return during any given liturgy. We can normalize movement explicitly by adding a note in the bulletin, on the website, or in the announcements: “Please care for your body as needed during worship. You are welcome to step out and return at any time.” Church leaders can also mention their comfort with movement in conversation with anyone who might need reassurance, such as parents with young children.
• Offer Clear Expectations: Most people feel more comfortable when they know what is expected. When we gather for worship, we come together as people from different generations with different religious backgrounds. Naturally, we have different ideas about what behavior is acceptable during the liturgy. Consider how you might clarify what behavior is and is not welcome during worship. For example, St. George’s in La Canada, CA has a page on their website welcoming neurodiversity that also includes a section called “What isn’t OK to do in church?”
• Provide Tools: Consider what tools might support the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of members of your congregation during worship. For example, a stack of cushions might be available for those who need back support in a church with wooden pews. You might welcome worshippers to bring tea or coffee. You might makes sensory resources available, such as those recommended by Bird Treacy. Of course, it is important to know your context.

Do you have another idea for increasing flexibility in intergenerational worship? Let us know! Reach out to Sarah Bentley Allred, Project Director, Roots & Wings: Intergenerational Formation Collaborative.

Featured image is by Hai Nguyen on Unsplash