I love deep conversations: the kind that draw me in to thought-provoking ideas or heartfelt exchanges, in which time flies and I leave transformed by those moments shared.

I am also an introvert who would rather avoid small talk. Getting from hellos and introductions to a generative space of meaningful connection is not one of my spiritual gifts. I often feel like I flounder in coming up with topics and questions that will feel inviting to other people.

When I heard Priya Parker talk about “magical questions” on an episode of the NPR Life Kit podcast, I became captivated by her idea. “Magical questions” sounded like stepping stones for conversation that could be helpful for someone like me. They also sounded like a promising tool for starting group discussions and building relationships in formation settings with people of all ages.

In this article, I will describe Parker’s concept of “magical questions” and how this can be applied to formation settings. Then I will share a list of magical questions for formation gatherings provided by members of the Forma Leadership Council and the Lifelong Learning team to prompt engaging conversations in your contexts and to inspire your own magical questions.

What Are “Magical Questions”?

To be clear, “magical questions” are not about magic. In “The Connecting Power of ‘Magical Questions,’” Priya Parker defines “magical question” as “a question posed to a group that everybody in that group would be interested in answering, and everyone is interested in hearing each other’s answers” (NPR Life Kit, May 13, 2025). Magical questions, then, are:

• points of connection and intersection for each person as well as for the group
• tailored to who is present – what might function as a magical question for one group of people could fall flat with another group

Parker names a few additional characteristics of these types of questions: “A magical question is specific. It invites people to not give their opinion, usually, but to give a story. A magical question also complicates the individual.” Magical questions create engaging spaces for the particular people present to share parts of themselves with one another and to receive and be received by one another. They can be light-hearted or weighty, humorous or serious, intriguing or surprising.

Here are some examples that Parker offers in the podcast episode:

• “When was the last time you used glitter?“
• “What is a favorite building in your community?“
• “What is a path you almost took but didn’t?“
• “When was a time you really went all-in on celebrating something or someone?“

Bringing “Magical Questions” into Formation

What draws me toward magical questions for Christian formation is their capacity as a practice of hospitality. Formation can involve many elements and take shape in numerous ways, but it cannot get very far in a faith centered on love without hospitality. Space-making, inviting, and including are vital to formation—not only because people often need and enjoy welcoming, supportive environments for learning and growing in faith, but also because our faith calls us to these works of love with our neighbors.

Magical questions offer one way of extending hospitality to everyone who shows up in a formation gathering. The dimensions of these questions that bring hospitality to life include:

1. Generosity

Parker identifies facilitating magical questions as “a skill anyone can learn, anyone can practice, to begin to ask—it’s really asking, what is this group interested in? What are the individuals interested in?” and calls it “a deeply generous thing to know how to do.” The invitation, according to Parker, is to consider: “What is interesting within each of these people that you might be able to tap into, unlock and help them share with the room?” Magical questions midwife opportunities for people to get to know one another more deeply and to share a bonding moment with one another, which is indeed a generous offering.

2. Equity

Parker also suggests developing questions “that are equalizing” for people amid various inequities that enter the room with us. She recommends selecting inclusive questions: “What are questions that everyone might be able to answer . . . ?”

3. Respecting All Voices

Magical questions presume respect and appreciation for every person’s voice. Because the aim of these questions is to land upon a subject that everyone would want to talk about and make space for all to share, they give everyone present a chance to speak and be heard.

4. Valuing People’s Experiences

Magical questions also position participants as people who come with experiences and wisdom to share from which everyone present can benefit. In this way, they value people’s experiences and stories as meaningful—not only for themselves, but for other people too.

5. Open-hearted Approach

Instead of bringing people together through fear or shame, magical questions look for intersections in what people care about or in shared interests and passions. This focus enables magical questions to cultivate an atmosphere for open-hearted participation.

37 Questions for Formation Gatherings

If you’re interested in trying magical questions in your community’s formation gatherings, here are some questions that might help you get started. Many thanks to the Forma Leadership Council and Lifelong Learning team for creating and sharing these questions.

1. Tell us a brief story about something you learned from someone else.
2. When is the last time you were really surprised by something?
3. What is something you could talk about with no preparation for over an hour?
   – Sarah Bentley Allred
4. What can you let go of today?
5. What would be your communion? What food and beverage would you institute as your Last Supper?
   – Pattie Ames
6. What does it feel like for you to be out in nature?
7. What is your favorite sound?
8. How do you experience silence?
   – Kim Arakawa
9. Who is someone you look up to? What about them, or what trait of theirs, do you try to emulate?
10. What’s a project that you are most proud of?
    – Wallace Benton
11. What do you dream about for your community?
12. What do you do well enough to teach?
    – Chad Brinkman
13. If there was a movie about your life, which actor would you want to play you?
14. If you could listen to only one song, whenever you wanted to listen to music, for the rest of your life, which song would it be?
    – Joshua Brown
15. What is bringing you joy today, this week, or right now?
16. What would be the title of your memoir?
    – Samantha Clare
17. What’s the ideal start to your day?
    – Carolyn Crouch
18. Peak, Pits, Praise, Prayer: Offer one or more
    “Add in any other ‘p’ word like ‘pondering.'”
    – Chris Fentress-Gannon
19. So, what’s your life?
    – Patrick Kangrga
20. When was your first impression about someone completely wrong?
21. What is something hard you are proud to have accomplished or overcome?
22. What fascinates you?
    – Lisa Kimball
23. What was the best vacation you’ve taken?
    – Lindsey Lewis
24. What sets your heart on fire?
    – Estela Lopez
25. What is a story or movie that you have seen over and over again and that reflects your deepest convictions and beliefs about real life?
    – Tricia Lyons
26. If you could be written into a story or book, which would it be?
27. When was the last time you experienced wonder or awe?
28. Tell us about a time where you experienced contagious joy.
    – Cory Irwin
29. Tell us about the place you’ve traveled farthest from home.
30. Tell us about a gift you received that was especially (or most) meaningful to you.
31. For an adult crowd: Is there a hobby or interest you have developed in your recent life that you could never have imagined enjoying when you were younger?
32. Tell us about your favorite smell. When was the last time you got to smell it?
33. Tell us about a smell that brings up a strong memory for you. What is it, and what does it remind you of?
    – Jenni Ovenstone
34. Would you rather . . . ?
    “Because [these questions] insert playfulness and imagination, build community, and lead into deeper conversations.”
    – Carmen Piggins and Missy Morain
35. Which of your toes do you spiritually identify with?
    – MacKenzie Teal
36. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
37. What is something (or someone) in your life that brings out the best in you?
    – Jodi Belcher

What “magical questions” can you come up with for formation spaces and gatherings? Share your ideas in the comments below!

Featured image is by Mark Fletcher-Brown on Unsplash