In the spring of 2025, the Roots & Wings: Intergenerational Formation Collaborative grant team conducted a literature review. As part of that literature review, the team identified five characteristics, or “hallmarks,” of intergenerational worship: intentionality, relationality, dignified reciprocity, flexibility, and empowerment.

In this “Hallmarks of Intergenerational Worship” series, I will explore each hallmark in turn with special attention to practical steps for increasing that characteristic in public worship. If you would like to assess which areas of intergenerational worship are already strengths in your context and which need more support, I invite you to take the Roots & Wings Hallmarks of Intergenerational Worship Survey.

Dignified Reciprocity in the Context of Worship

Many scholars and practitioners talk about intergenerationality as marked by mutuality (we all participate and benefit), equality (we are all valued equally), and reciprocity (we all give and receive). Chris Barnett, Emma Parr, and Melissa Neumann use these exact words in their free intergenerational worship handbook, “Engage Together: More than Worship, More than Sunday.” Likewise, Holly Catterton Allen and Jason Brian Santos write, “The terms reciprocity, mutuality, accommodation, and equity became normative both in language and as broad aims” for intergenerational ministry (“Intergenerational Ministry–A Forty-year Perspective,” 523).

As I sought to refine the list of potential “hallmarks” of intergenerational worship gathered from the literature, the Rev. Kelly Ryan was an invaluable conversation partner. She pointed out that reciprocity on its own can be transactional. We can give and receive in a way that is not mutually beneficial or equitable. Kelly suggested the addition of dignity. In the context of intergenerational worship, we are all invited to give and to receive in a way that respects the dignity of every worshipper.

Dignified reciprocity is bi-directional. Grounded in the theology that we are all children of God, born worthy and gifted, it invites sharing across generations to flow in every direction. On an occasion when one generation is sharing a particular gift, the congregation engages that generation in the most dignified way possible. When a children’s choir offers an anthem, they are not paraded out to perform for the purpose of adult entertainment; they are treated as worship leaders. They are invited to wear what adult choirs wear and stand where adult choirs stand and thanked as worship leaders. Likewise, when elders share wisdom, they are not dismissed as “out of touch,” but heard and appreciated as valued members of the community.

Dignified reciprocity in worship invites us to see others of all ages as having the right to be present, give, and receive during worship. It invites us to examine our practices to see where we might be treating one generation or another inequitably and to look for ways to extend even more dignity to every body in worship.

Addressing Generational Power Imbalances

A key aspect of dignified reciprocity is examining who in your community makes decisions about the design and implementation of worship with a lens towards age. In an Episcopal context, for example, you might consider:

• Who selects music for worship? What generation do they identify with? Do they collaborate with any other generation(s) in their selection process?
• Who coordinates the altar guild and flower arrangements? What generation(s) do they identify with? Are other members of these teams from the same generation(s) or different generations? As leaders, do the coordinators take a collaborative mentoring approach or a more authoritative approach?
• Who makes decisions about the worship space? What generation(s) do they identify with? Do they seek feedback from other generations when changes to the space are made?
• Who coordinates liturgical leaders such as lectors, acolytes, ushers, and greeters? What generation(s) do they identify with? Are other members of these teams from the same generation(s) or different generations? As leaders, do the coordinators take a collaborative mentoring approach or a more authoritative approach?
• Who decides how the Psalm will be read, selects the form for the Prayers of the People, and chooses a version of The Great Thanksgiving? What generation(s) do they identify with? Do they seek feedback from other generations in making these decisions?

Addressing generational power imbalances is long, culture-shifting work. One framework that might be worth considering is the Prosci ADKAR^® Model. This change model has five pieces: “awareness,” “desire,” “knowledge,” “ability,” and “reinforcement.” In order for liturgical decision-making power to be more equitably shared accross generations, we must first become aware of imbalances. Then we must build a desire for change. Third, we must consider what knowledge or education people need in order to make this type of change. Fourth, we must offer opportunities for skill building so that generations not currently in positions of power have the ability to step into the work. Finally, we must consider sustainability: How will the new way of designing and implementing worship be reinforced?

What I have described above is a systematic, long-term, big-picture way of addressing generational power imbalances. It may or may not be right for your context. Below are smaller yet powerful steps you can take to address power imbalances and increase dignified reciprocity.

Practical Steps to Increase Dignified Reciprocity

Every church context is unique and there is not one “right” way to practice intergenerational worship. The list of ideas below is not prescriptive (or exhaustive), but meant to inspire your imagination for helping worshippers connect more deeply as fellow members of the body of Christ in a specific worshipping community.

• Listen to Feedback of All Generations: In “The Power of Sacred Listening,” TryTank Podcast episode 33, guest Josh Packard describes how sacred listening is a transformative act for young people. Packard says, “When there’s a power imbalance and the person with more power takes the time to listen to the person with less power . . . It is always a profound act of service.” In the context of worship, we can seek and truly listen to the reflections and feedback from all ages.
• Reconsider Age-Segregated Leadership Opportunities: In many contexts, the first liturgical leadership role that young people are invited to hold is acolyte. Often it is the only role offered to elementary- and middle school-aged young people, and there are no adults serving on the acolyte team. Acolyting is a wonderful opportunity for young people, but not all young people feel comfortable with “upfront” roles. How might we get to know young people more individually and invite them into roles that fit their gifts and interests? What might be the benefits of diversifying all leadership teams so that children, youth, and adults serve side by side?
• Expand the Response Options for the Prayers of the People: In many contexts, the Prayers of the People include an opportunity for personal intercessions to be offered aloud or “in the silence of your heart.” Knowing that not everyone can verbally articulate their prayers, we can add opportunities for artistic or kinestetic prayers. For example, a prayer garden might be set up with a basket of rocks and a basket of flowers. Worshippers can be invited to place flowers in the garden as a sign of the things that make them grateful or happy and rocks in the garden for the heavy, hard, or sad things. (Thanks to the Rev. Miranda Hassett for sharing this practice!)
• Ask Consent for Story Sharing: Whether we are sharing with an individual over coffee or the whole congregation in a sermon, it is always appropriate to ask consent to share another person’s story, even if not using the person’s name. This is especially true when there is an imbalance of power, such as an adult sharing the story of a child.
• Embrace Equity for Choirs: If choirs are separated by age, consider how they can equitably share their gifts during worship. For example, all choirs might sing together quarterly. If a children’s choir sings alone, they can wear the same type of vestments as an adult choir and sing from the choir stalls instead of in front of the chancel (which might send the message they are performing rather than the message that they are leading worship).
• Reconsider a Singular Area for Children: A singular “prayground” or “soft space” sends the message that children are welcome, but consider ways to offer young worshippers even more autonomy in selecting a place to sit. For example, you might provide a “library” of tools for participating in worship that people of all ages can use and bring to the seat of their choice or a few “soft spaces” instead of one. (Thanks to the Rev. Sylvia Miller-Mutia for the idea of many child-scaled spaces. I highly recommend reading Sylvia’s explanation on the St. Gregory of Nyssa website under #4.)
• Foster a Culture of Gratitude for All Leaders: The way adults respond to the worship leadership of young people matters. Instead of focusing on the quality of the leadership (for example, “You did such a good job!”), encourage adults to give thanks for the presence and participation of young people (for example, “Thank you for helping lead worship today. I’m glad you were here.”).
• Invite All Ages into Scripture Drama: While Christmas pageant and other forms of scripture drama can be a dynamic and powerful way to engage scripture, they can also instrumentalize children and youth. As my colleague Jodi Belcher writes in our co-authored article “Christmas Pageants from Two Points of View,” Christmas pageants “can compromise church efforts to affirm children and youth as full members of the body of Christ by expecting them to perform for an audience in a church service.” One way of preventing this instrumentalization is inviting people of all ages to participate in scripture drama. You can find more ideas in the article as well.

Do you have another idea for increasing dignified reciprocity in intergenerational worship? Let us know! Reach out to Sarah Bentley Allred, Project Director, Roots & Wings: Intergenerational Formation Collaborative.

Featured image is by shameersrk on Pixabay