There is a challenging child in every group. As Christian educators we may have opportunities to learn about autism, learning disabilities, and physical disabilities. We do everything in our power to meet children where they are and welcome them into our midst. We know Christ calls us to do so.
But what about the kid who doesn’t fit any diagnosis you’ve heard of? The little boy who cannot make it through class, worship, or social functions without a confrontation? The little girl who sits and stares and hides behind her hands when anyone tries to draw her in? The kid who seems very immature for his age, still throwing tantrums or hiding behind Mom when he’s much too old for that sort of thing?
That’s my kid, and his issue is early childhood trauma. And when I look back at kids I knew as a teacher and look forward as my son navigates his anxiety-filled way through the world, I am called by these children and by God to share what I’ve learned with as many people as I can to support their full inclusion and participation in our communities.
We all know what’s supposed to happen during the first year of life. Babies are meant to be held, fed, rocked, cleaned, cooed over, talked to, celebrated, looked at — in short, they are meant to have thousands of positive human interactions during that time. And critical neurological development occurs as a direct result of those interactions.
When children are not met with that care, they can experience significant developmental consequences. They may never be warm enough because the neurons that control temperature regulation didn’t develop properly. Others may be clumsy because the neural connections that develop our “sixth sense” of where our body is in space and in relation to itself and others are underdeveloped. Early childhood trauma may also result in learning disabilities, making it difficult for children to keep up with their peers.
One of the most profound consequences of early childhood trauma is its impact on the limbic system, which can result in a sort of permanent “fight or flight” reaction to the world. As children who have experienced trauma grow, the work of calming their limbic system and allowing the more evolved parts of their brains to grow is a long process, and it can be hard to find supportive professionals to help children and families navigate it.
In many ways, those who have experienced early childhood trauma are similar to those with more familiar developmental disabilities. They are disregulated,* hypervigilant,** off balance, confrontational, anxious, terrified, aggressive, or withdrawn.
Early childhood trauma is caused in the first four critical years of brain development. It is different from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in that basic neurological development is affected. It can only be addressed by specific therapies that recreate the rhythm and repetition of those early human interactions. And it can be caused by a number of factors, including medical issues in early years, the loss of a parent or sibling in early years, and a parent’s failure to nurture in the early years. It’s more prevalent than most people realize, but once you learn to see it, you may suddenly understand “that kid.”
So if you have a kid in your programs who’s driving you crazy and doesn’t fit the usual diagnoses, consider that there could be underlying trauma. I tell you this not because you can fix it, but because your calm understanding and acceptance will do so much to help that child be a part of your community. And that community in itself is a priceless bit of safety for these children.
*Disregulation is exactly as it sounds: The brain is unable to organize and categorize thoughts and input effectively, leaving a child in constant mental chaos.
**Hypervigilance can look like ADD/ADHD, but is in fact the opposite. Instead of being unable to focus on anything, a traumatized child focuses on everything, because they never know from where a threat might appear.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on December 6, 2012. It has been revised and updated on December 7, 2023 to correct grammatical and punctuation errors, to use equitable and inclusive language according to our editorial style, and to use the most widely preferred and non-stigmatizing language for disabilities to date in keeping with our style guide for discussing disability and related topics. Some recommendations may also have been modified in keeping with best practices for accessibility and inclusion.
