Roots & Wings: Intergenerational Formation Collaborative (R&W) is a grant focused on empowering congregations to practice vibrant intergenerational liturgy, especially in Episcopal contexts. Our grant team defines intergenerational liturgy as liturgy that seeks to intentionally engage and equally value the gifts and needs of two or more generations (or every generation present). You can read more in our article “What Is Intergenerational Worship?” This article series, “Roots & Wings FAQ,” offers responses to frequently asked questions about intergenerational liturgy.

Not all older people want to share power. Some of us want to hold on. And until we name that, we’re not really doing the work.
~Rabbi Emerita Laura Geller, Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills, Honest Conversations: Faith Leaders on the Real Work of Intergenerational Collaboration

I get to spend a lot of time talking about the benefits of intergenerationality. From strong biblical support to research findings in both faith-based and secular studies, there is plenty to highlight. It is truly a joy and a privilege to share about the gifts intergenerationality has to offer congregations. But in order to help worshipping communities shift toward more intergenerational practices, it is imperative to acknowledge what must end, die, or be set aside in order for intergenerationality to thrive—and the grief or sense of loss that accompanies those endings.

Loss Is Often Part of the Change

Intergenerational liturgy is characterized by intentionality, relationality, dignified reciprocity, flexibility, and empowerment. In order for these charisms to flourish, there are almost always other values or practices that must be laid down. This will look different in each context, but here are a few examples to help you imagine what might need to be let go of in your setting:

• The comfort of socializing only with friends before and after worship, of always sitting with people you already know at coffee hour
• The standard of excellence for liturgical leaders (lectors, ushers, etc.)
• Familiarity with every hymn, every Sunday
• Unbroken stillness and silence after the breaking of the bread or fully hearing every word of the lessons and sermon
• The laughter of adults when a child says something humorous in response to a question during a children’s sermon
• Pew space to make room for rocking chairs and mobility devices
• Exclusive liturgical decision-making power

I don’t know exactly what losses your community might experience through the process of shifting toward intergenerational liturgy. But reading the CoGenerate report “Honest Conversations: Faith Leaders on the Real Work of Intergenerational Collaboration” made me more certain than ever that this work does require sacrifice. The work of letting go, of bringing something to a close, can be a deeply spiritual practice. And it is essential that we do not overlook or rush through the grief that may accompany that work, lest it sabotage what is waiting beneath fertile soil to emerge.

There Is Also Loss in Not Doing This Work

This is big, challenging work. But I believe there is a price to pay if we do not take it on. Part of the price, as the Rev. Ian Carr McPherson articulates in this quote from the “Honest Conversations” report, is the engaged presence of young people in our faith communities:

“I see young people being invited into spaces where there’s no real power, no real vision. We’re just reading the minutes from the last meeting and doing business the way we’ve always done it, and they don’t feel empowered or excited about the work.”

In order to empower younger worshipers (which, in some churches, may mean middle-aged adults), current structures may need to change. Old structures for decision-making may need to be set aside. Older church leaders will need to share power and release some of the power they hold. This is a loss. But we may not be able to get to resurrection without experiencing death first.

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